By Agatha Christie Akello 

One thing nobody prepares you for as an adult is the fact that the show must go on. I burnt my favourite blouse this morning and had to look for something else while dealing with the grief of losing one of my expensive garments. At campus, I would have gone back to bed and cried myself to sleep if my classes for the day were not too demanding. After which I’d wake up, look for fried cassava and guacamole, percolate tea and disappear into the fantasy world of Harry Potter. 

I cannot do that now. Between the 9-5, side hustles, Davido’s concert, relationships, maintaining a balanced diet and the insatiable desire to lead an impactful life, there is no time to rot on the couch guilt-free. Even if I can make the time, my mind will not allow it. As a 26-year-old adult whose brain is currently hardwired for survival, any form of undeserved dormancy feels like a threat to my existence. 

What's more, I am now fully in charge of my existence. Despite the Kampala heat frying whatever is left of my brain after thinking about my future and how to afford a GLE coupe with Shs6,000 in my bank account, there are several wedding groups bidding for my contributions. Showing up for friends is more than contributing 20k to their birthday dinner and the dating pool is keeping me a victim of “when will you marry” interrogations at family gatherings. 

Do not get me started on rent! Also, who started the four months upfront and security deposit law? Why don’t we ever get the deposit back? Landlords are ripping us off for houses with bathrooms so small your knees touch the wall when you sit on the toilet. Decent affordable houses are in Kitukutwe, which means over two hours of your day will be spent commuting to and from work in a pitiful transport system, because our elderly bosses cannot fathom hybrid working structures. Can we blame them? Any free minute will be channeled to our side hustles. So how will their companies flourish if they allow our entrepreneurial spirits to thrive?

Before we get pessimistic, there is a bright side to all this. Being an adult affords you a reinforced sense of autonomy, freedom to create the life you desire and access to responsible drinking in case things hit the fan. Your parents also listen to you more and even implement your decisions. 

I would not trade the growth, confidence and independence I have attained over the years with that campus brokenness. Let’s face it, many of the things we whine about can be solved as long as you are in good physical and spiritual  health. Where there is a will, there is a way.  This is my present and while there is no going back or escalating the realisation of a glamorous future, I have learnt to enjoy where I am by incorporating the following things:

1. I built systems. Goals are overrated and systems are underrated. Have money systems, housekeeping systems, prayer systems, meal planning, personal administration, health care, physical fitness, socialising and any other system that adds to your vision of a fulfilling life. While accounting for the fact that you are a human being, set specific days in the week that cater to the aforementioned requirements for a decent functional life. For example, meal planning and shopping on Saturdays ensures I have food I like to eat for the whole week; daily YouTube dancing exercises at 6:30am keeps me fit, meeting friends for coffee after work on Wednesday ensures I am in touch with my social life and so on. 
2. I plan quarterly. I just started doing this and it is a game changer! (Also saying “Q1” makes me feel like a CEO). The advantage of breaking things into bite size pieces is the ease it comes with. Life is only hard in your head. Towards the end of last year, I wrote an extensive list of big and small things I would love to achieve and experience this year. I went on to prioritize them for every 3 months. For instance, from Jan - Mar, I was to start my driving classes, get a new laptop, and open a high yield savings account. All I had to do was focus on one thing for each month and I have effectively done so. I will focus on other things from April - June and so forth. 
3. I am nurturing a community. You cannot do life alone! Although I love my personal space, existing within a community has reduced my adulting rants. Be deliberate about sharing your life with friends and family. No, do not break boundaries and share your deepest darkest secrets, rather find time within your system to hear from them. Something I do nowadays is call whoever crosses my mind and say, “How are you doing? I have been thinking about you and wanted to hear your voice.” This is a 60 second conversation that often leads to a tea date at CJs for only Shs10,000. Additionally, I go home for three day public holidays, Easter and Christmas. I also plan similar activities with my friends like a concert, a lunch gathering and the like. 
4. I seek knowledge. There are no unique experiences. Before you, there were millions of young adults who walked the earth equally confused about their existence. These adults live on in books, podcasts and documentaries. Some of them are alive and well, sharing their stories of overcoming the confusion on various social media platforms. Read their work, listen to their stories and follow them for valuable insights you can adapt in your own life. Maya Angelou’s “Letter to my Daughter” is one of those books for me, as is Paulo Coehlo’s “Alchemist”. They both encourage grace and grit while you journey through life. 
5. I rest and slow down often. During my driving lessons, the instructor kept nudging me to go slow. For your information, I am energetic and my foot carries some weight. His relentless reminder to go slow on the gas started irritating me so much that we had to park aside during one of the classes. “It is easier for you to correct mistakes when you go slow. You can make corners with ease and stay calm on the wheel.” 

It pains me to admit that he was right and I have since analogised his advice in all aspects of my life. Pausing before you act, resting in the turmoil and simply doing nothing sometimes will ease adulting for you. Now when I am constantly frustrated and irritable, I take a step back, reevaluate and try again. 

Bonus tip: Have a boda guy who speaks your mother tongue, it will halve your transport concerns. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. You are no longer in a competitive school environment. There is no reward for best performing and socially acceptable adult. Focus on creating a life that feels right for you and if you cannot give what they gave, do not want what they have. 

While our adulting experiences may vary considering distinct upbringings and family backgrounds, it has fulfilling perks once we see them for what they are. Reframe your mind to see the freedom of creating an enjoyable present as a privilege. Throw comparison out the window and be grateful for the little joys you experience. Stay in community and extend grace to yourself. Keep on living! And enjoy yourself while at it.

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